Life Without Poutine: Korean wedding

On Tuesday I was invited to my Vice Principal's wedding, but unfortunately I had to turn down the invitation because I had to teach the Saturday program at Oksan Elementary School. I asked around online to see if anybody was interested in making some extra money by covering for me, but had little success--either they weren't eligible because they didn't work for the Ulsan Metropolitan Office of Education, or something came up, or they just lost interest. Thankfully, Saint Zak of the Church of Awesomeness offered to cover for me as a last resort if I couldn't find anybody. Sure enough, come Friday, I had to give him the bad news.

So I arrived Saturday afternoon at the soccer stadium, which apparently also features a wedding hall. There was a room just to the right of the entrance where a bunch of girls were dancing a routine. I didn't see any familiar faces from school, but I walked in anyway and just enjoyed the performance. One poor girl tripped but thankfully recovered before doing any damage.

Once they were done, I walked out and walked into a familiar face. She guided me across the hall, where I saw the rest of the crew. Several of them had been assigned to count all of the envelopes containing monetary gifts. (It looks like the newlyweds scored big.)

I walked into the room where the "I do's" were going to go down, and it looked like the location of a fashion show, complete with a runway and everything. There were also a cellist, a violinist, a pianist, a singer, and a dude who played a cylindrical saxophone.

After about 15 minutes, the show got underway. It started with the mothers of the bride and groom walking down the aisle, all decked out in the traditional gear. I almost didn't even recognize my VP because she was so dolled up and had her hair all did. Next, the bride was walked down the aisle by her pops. (I think it's kind of foolish for a woman to be walking in a dress so goddamn big that she needs a servant walking behind her to carry the tail of the dress so that it doesn't drag along the floor, but that's just me.) People did their best papparazi impression and snapped photos galore as they made their way to the front. The priest spent about 15 minutes talking. (I caught an "Amen" and a "Gamsahabnida," which means thank you.) Next up, was some music. The strings played a tune, then a dude serenaded the couple. (Halfway through the song, the singer handed over the mic to the groom, who begrudgingly accepted it, and then proceeded to sing with a voice that sounded like a dog being beaten by a stick. The crowd had a good chuckle, and he seemed to be laughing along as well. Korean Kenny G wrapped up the musical portion of the festivities. The last thing they did before turning to walk back down the aisle was hand over a bouquet of flowers in thanks to both sets of parents. Then the priest said a few more things before the newlyweds led the procession down the aisle, followed by the mothers and then the fathers.

The entire thing took no longer than 30 minutes, and then the room cleared out immediately. There was no reception afterwards, which depressingly also meant there was no food, there was no "You may now kiss the bride" moment, no speeches, nothing. The only thing they did was take a picture with all of the family members after the crowd had left.

While it looked rather lavish, the whole affair felt pretty impersonal. The thing that irked me the most was the two photographers and the videographer. They were completely up in everybody's grill. While the mothers lit some candles after walking down the aisle, they were mere feet away from them; when the priest was speaking, they were right beside him. One of them even tripped over the runway while the priest was talking; it was a slight distraction. Nonetheless, I'm glad I was able to go. I was really grateful that the VP had even invited me, because she's such a lovely lady. Even though she doesn't speak any English, whenever she speaks to me, she always speaks with a very genuine and sincere smile. I would've felt bad if I turned down her offer.

Thanks again, Zak!